Abducted By Aliens, This Could Be Final Post

I was able to grab one photo of the aliens before they confiscated my camera, reversed-engineered it and then returned it unassembled in a bag made of carbon nanotube material. Photo: Bob King

I’ve been abducted by aliens, but you needn’t be too concerned. I majored in foreign language in college and quickly learned enough vocabulary to ask where the bathroom was aboard this behemoth space ship.

A dozen of my fellow humans are here with me. Each of us was selected for questioning on a particular aspect of our culture. My topic is hot dogs – their origin and evolution with particular emphasis on the construction methods employed to create the famous “Chicago-style” hotdog.

Why aliens would care about hotdogs I can only guess. Perhaps they’re looking for something tastier to eat during those long interstellar journeys than pouches of powdered fruit juice.

A delicious Chicago-style hotdog. Credit: Meghann Marco

With only a few minutes to spare before they put me under the laser ball, I’ll get to the point. Space station afficianados up at dawn these fine spring mornings will get another week’s worth of passes. The station looks like a brilliant star moving from west to east; a typical pass across the sky takes around five minutes. The times listed below are accurate for the Duluth region. For times for your city, please use Heavens Above or plunk in your zip code on Spaceweather’s satellite flyby link. All passes this week will happen in the northern sky.

Times are CDT
* Saturday morning April 2  starting at 4:55 a.m. The station will first appear directly overhead as it exits Earth’s shadow and enters sunlight. It travels to the east from there.
* Sunday April 3 at 5:20 a.m.
* Monday April 4 at 5:45 a.m. Another nice northern sky crossing.
* Tuesday April 5 at 4:38 a.m. when the space station will first appear due north directly below the North Star traveling east. A second pass across the entire north begins at 6:11 a.m.
* Wednesday April 6 at 5:03 a.m.
* Thursday April 7 at 5:28 a.m.
* Friday April 8 at 5:53 a.m.
* Saturday April 9 at 4:45 a.m.

Uh-oh. I’ve got to cut this short -  they’re coming for me. I already see those light-bulb shaped heads silhouetted against the ultra-blue, xenon-lit corridor. And now I suddenly can’t remember if you put the chopped onions on the hotdog before or after the hot peppers. Good lord, a screw-up like that could cost me my life.
Gotta go …

3 Responses

  1. Ryan

    Hey, Bob, your photo of the alien does not match your description of their “lightbulb” shaped heads. Are you sure that’s not just your own silhouette?

    1. astrobob

      Hi Ryan – excellent observation! They aliens had the ability to morph and assume human form. This is how they lured us to their ship in the first place. Once inside, they shed their human appearance and became hideous.

  2. It’s not surprising that they’d want the recipe for the Chicago-style hot dog.. I’m getting hungry just reading this!

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